Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
