margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
