i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
