On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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