i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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