so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
