community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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