I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize