K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
