Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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