You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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