we're blogging at a bar
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
