Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
