Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
