Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
