I'm so fucking centered right now
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
