you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
