What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
