She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
