I hate your face
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize