My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
