and you said cock pushups were impossible
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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