I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
