toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize