I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
