Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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