i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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