So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
