Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh god it's open bar.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
