Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize