Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
