I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bring me that man meat
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
