I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.