What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?