I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.