I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".