I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
