i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
