youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
These tits shall not be calmed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
