i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
