This is not my ceiling
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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