i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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