He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
