It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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