I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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