he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
