her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
