mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
