i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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