Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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