after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
