broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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