Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize