yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
