i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
