what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
