I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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