thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
