I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
