We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When are your genitals available?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
