Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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