if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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