Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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