Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
